Freakin' Feelings
by Double M B
Summary: I'm gonna tell April how I feel about her. Tonight.


**Okay so at first it was gonna be a one-shot, then it wasn't, and now it is. If you want me to make a short fanfic or another one-shot, tell me!**

**Enjoy!**

Donnie's POV

Those blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. Her beautiful red hair that was always pulled back into a small ponytail. The freckles that lined her cheeks. Her smile. The only smile that could make time stop and make it only just us two. Everything about her was perfect. No other human-

"Donnie?" Raph asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I blinked a few times, coming out of my daydream. I glared at him.

"What?" I asked, a little annoyed. He smirked.

"You were thinking about her again. Weren't you?" He asked. I blushed.

"N-no!" I objected. He rolled his eyes.

"Sure, chuckles." He said, running to the next roof. I groaned and followed. We passed over April's apartment and I almost had to smile. April still lived with us. She was going to return in about a month after everything seemed alright. Raph skidded to a halt in front of me. I didn't have time to react so I rammed into him.

"Raph!" I yelled, getting up and rubbing my arm. He groaned and sat up.

"Watch it, egghead!" He said, getting up and pushing me. I clenched my fists. I wanted to push him back but this fight would just end in a loss for me and don't I think that my pride could take another hit. I sighed and pushed by him, jumping from the roof into the alley and getting down the manhole.

I could almost hear the evil laugh Raph did after I was out of sight. The cold sewer water splashed my feet as I stomped home. I don't care what my brothers say, I'm telling April how I feel about her. Tonight. I mean, what are the odds that she doesn't like me back? Probably low. Hopefully. My brothers are just going to make fun of me until I tell April the truth so I might as well get it over with.

"Hey April? I, uh, like you." I said. I sighed at my reflection. No, that's to cheesy, "Heeeey, April." I said, trying to look cool. I shook my head and stuck out my tongue. I smacked my head a few dozen times. Suddenly, there was a knock at my door.

"Donnie? Can I come in?" I heard April ask. My heart started beating fast and I shoved the few pictures I had of her off my desk.

"C-come on in." I said, resting my arm against the table. The door opened and my heart started going a speed I didn't know was possible.

"Um, Raph said you wanted to talk to me?" She said, coming over and sitting down. I mentally noted to yell at Raph later. I noticed her biting the side of her lip. I took a deep breath and sat up straight.

"Uh, y-yeah." I said. There was another silence.

"So," She said, giving a small smile. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my belt.

"So, um I just wanted to say that-" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "I really like you." I finally blurted out, my face getting hot. I opened my eyes to see her just staring at me.

"Oh, uh, well," She said, rubbing the back of her head. My chest felt like it was going to explode. I started shaking a little, "Well, it's just that- you're like a brother to me-" She said, not making eye contact. My heart sunk and I sat there, staring at her.

"W-what?" I managed to cough out.

"It's just- I'm sorry Donnie." She said, looking at me. My eyes started filling with tears. Before she could react, I shot up. I half ran, half fell, into the TV room where my brothers sat. Raph spotted me and started laughing. My brown eyes met his green and I turned away, a few tears rolling down my face. I fake coughed and started sobbing, running out of the lair. I burst out of the sewers and started running.

Roof after roof, I ran, sweat and tears rolling down my face. My eyes were closed and I tried to wipe away the tears. My lungs started to burn but I ignored it. No pain could match what I was feeling. My foot caught on something when I landed and I fell onto my face. I pushed myself up onto my knees and buried my face in my hands. I tasted blood and removed my hands from my face and to see red blood dripping off them. With my mask, I wiped away the blood. I kneeled there, holding my bloody purple mask and sobbing.

"Why?" I asked quietly, hugging myself with my eyes closed. I looked up into the sky and saw rain clouds. A raindrop fell onto the top of my head and I didn't budge. Cold rain started to pour onto me.

"Donnie!" I heard a yell. I couldn't even tell who it was. I didn't want to look. The humiliation is almost as bad as the situation itself. I felt a wet hand on my shoulder, "Donatello!" It was Leo. I turned my head away and shook off his hand. Leo bent down, "Don, why are you out here int he rain?!" He demanded. I grit my teeth and started crying again. Leo sat down on the wet cold roof and put an arm around me. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. I felt like a little kid; crying and being comforted by my big brother.

"What's wrong Donnie?" He asked softly. I wiped my eyes, not looking up.

"I-I-" I started, breaking out crying again. I hated this. I hate crying. Especially in front of my brothers. I hated feeling little and younger then them (even though I'm only the second youngest and tallest).

"We've already sent April to spend the night at her aunt's." He said, giving my a hug. I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder. I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand, "Okay, now what happened?" He asked, leaning back and looking at me. I took a deep breath and prayed that I wouldn't cry again. This was just too humiliating. I took another breath.

"W-well," I started with a sniffle and a wipe of my nose, "I-I," I said looking for a good way to say it. Thinking about it now, it felt like the stupidest thing ever. It was though, it really was. Leo pulled me into a hug.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said. I let out a sigh of relief and nodded. April's face when she looked at me after I told her popped into my head. I closed my eyes and felt tears well up again.

"C-can we just g-go home?" I asked with a shakey voice, trying to wipe away the tears.

"Come on," Leo said, standing up and lending me a hand. The rain had died down to almost a mist.

"C-can I go the backway?" I asked, staring at the wet roof beneath my feet.

"Sure." He said. He turned around and started home. I looked up and saw him about two roof tops ahead. I sniffled one last time and started running. I went a little slow so I wouldn't slip again. I also went slow to gather my thoughts. Leo jumped down into the alley two roofs ahead and I finally caught up.

"You okay?" He asked once I landed. My eyes felt dry from crying. I nodded.

"I still want to go in the back way though." I said, rocking back and forth on my heels. Leo nodded and opened the manhole, motioning me to go down. I shyly walked over and lept down the manhole. This time I walked on the sides so my feet wouldn't get wetter then they already were. I heard Leo climb down the ladder and slide the manhole cover back on. In the darkness, April's picture popped into my head. Tears started rolling down my face again. I sniffled, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

_Why did Raph have to send her in? I was perfectly fine living in my own daydream, thinking that she liked me back. It wasn't hurting anybody and now I'm just-_I couldn't finish my thought. It hurt to much. We got to the normal lair entrace. I heard Leo walk in. I sniffled and walked around to where the garage was, opening the garage door and walking in. Raph sat in the rolling chair, his feet resting up against my desk. Rage and sadness filled me by just looking at him.

"So how'd it go?" He asked with a smirk. I bit my lip, wanting to curl into a ball and cry and punch him at the same time. My fists clenched and tears started rolling down my red cheeks. Raph's smirk didn't leave his face. Did he think this was funny?! He just freakin' broke my heart, my dignity, and my whole being. Yet, he kept staring at me with his emerald green eyes and a giant smirk.

Before I could think, I was running at him, jumping onto him and attacking. He looked surprised, not knowing what to do. I punching him in the face, making his nose bleed.

"Donnie!" He exclaimed, catching my fist. Tears blurred my vision and anger blocked my hearing. I used my other hand to punch him in the eye, giving him a black eye, "DONNIE!" He yelled, trying to push me off. I was at the advantage. I wall taller and had more stregnth due to my anger. Leo burst into the room.

"DONATELLO!" Leo yelled, coming up behind me and grabbling my shell. He yanked me back and I fell onto my shell, my chest rising and falling quickly. Raph sat up and stared at me with fear. His right eye was almost swollen shut and dried blood covered his snout. I looked around, Leo was down on one knee next to Raph, both staring at me, and Mikey stood in the doorway. I jumped up and ran away to my room, slamming the door behind me.

I collasped behind the door, hugging my knees and sobbing loudly. My body hurt, my heart hurt, my dignity hurt. Life just pretty much sucked at the moment. I wiped my tears with my mask tails and sniffled, trying to stop. The heart ache was almost physical. It felt like it really was. I got up slowly, my head hurting, and collasped onto my bed. I spotted the stool that April sat on and started crying again, sitting up and kicking the stool away. It flew into the air and hit the wall hard, making one of the legs fall off. The door opened to my room and Leo burst in.

"What happened?!" Leo asked, one of his katana out. I stuffed my face in my pillow, not answering, just pointing to the broken stool. I heard my door click shut and took a deep breath. It was hard enough with just being made fun of for liking her and now, knowing she didn't like me back and crying like a freakin' baby. My tears finally subsided and I just rested my chin on my pillow, staring at the red glow of my alarm clock I fixed up a while back.

Thunder roared overhead and shook the entire lair. Hopefully, we won't get flooding like we did a few years ago. Another clap of thunder hit, followed by some lightning. the lights went out and I groaned. I really didn't feel like doing anything but sulking. There was a knock at my door.

"Hey Donnie? Can you fix the power?" Mikey asked, peeking inside the door.

"No Mikey. I can't." I yelled through my pillow. My door clicked shut and I kinda regretted what I said. Tears started rolling down my face. AGAIN. I shook my head, rubbing my face on the pillow. I had no idea why I was crying this time. Freakin' feelings. Freakin' hormones. Freakin' girls. Freakin' life. I burried my face deep in the pillow and yelled at the top of my lungs. I started hitting my head on the bed even though I already had a headache. I wanted to forget eveyting about today and act like it never happened. I wanted to reverse time and slap myself for telling her. I wanted to go back in time and strangle Raph for telling April to come to my room.

Well, time has passed and there's nothing I can do from it. Except never look at April again and camp out in my room for the rest of my life.

Bye.


End file.
